Morning Routine

They say your morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Which is why I choose to be attentive to detail straight away.

Planted in front of my bathroom mirror, scrutinizing my image for imperfection. Noting all the ways I can alter and improve my perpetually inadequate reflection.

Setting my hands at my waist and gripping a little tighter. Wishing my ribcage was naturally that much slighter.

My incriminating pouch appears less pronounced but stubbornly remains in existence. How many more miles run and ice cream nights missed out on remain until I triumph its persistence?

I trace a finger over the skin of my stomach, cringing at its soft texture and rounded display. And its streaks and rolls that I wish I could simply zap away.

I’m not even close to resembling the girls I see online with a faultless appearance. Despite centering my life around conforming to diet culture with strict adherence.

My period has been dormant for months now, with my energy levels dissipating many before. But the longing for a perfect body eclipses all red flags telling me this isn’t healthy anymore.

-E.J.